If MySpace was real...

If MySpace was real...

I don't know who wrote this one but, it pretty funny...

If Myspace was real, this is what it would be like:

-You'd have a friend named Tom creepily following you around giving you bad news constantly.

-At nights when you are asleep you would get people running in your room that you don't know saying. "It's 4 a.m., I can't sleep, someone talk to me."

-Anytime you walk into someones house they have the same video or song playing all the time, non-stop for three months straight.

-You would look your very best at all times.

-There would be a lot of youthful looking 99 year olds.

-Most people would walk around with a full size mirror 2 feet in front of them.

-Your driver's license would have hearts around your name or quote from an emo song.

-Blogs would be required reading and any random thought in your head would be shared with everyone.

-People would inexplicably be stuck in their homes for hours unable to communicate with the outside world because some asshole put up a large white wall in front of every door and window with a note attached saying "Sorry but an unexpected error has occurred."

-Tila Tequila would know everyone in the whole world.

-19 year old boys wouldn't own shirts and 19 year old girls would not own pants.

-If you're a fat girl, people would only see you from the shoulders up.

-People would be able to photoshop out pimples on their face.

-Girls would always be posing, cheeks sucked in and lips puckered two feet off their face.

-All females are bi and all males drive import muscle cars.

-The phrases "Yo, " "your hawt, " or "hit me back some time" would attract the opposite sex.

-Everyone would make $100, 000 a year or higher.

-There would be a lot of underage strippers in the world.

-Forbidden would actually be hot.

-It wouldn't be odd to have Brad Pitt in your circle of friends.

-Hello Kitty would be a real person.

-During a long conversation you'd have to say "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: all right, well call me later."

-When it was time for bed you would say you're "Undergoing Maintenance."

-You would have to paint your walls using Thomas Myspace Editor codes in your apartment.

-When someone said something funny, you'd actually roll around on the floor and laugh your fucking ass off.

-"Friend Whoring" is equal to STD's.

-"Fuckin MySpace!" is the only universally known term in any language to show anger.

-People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and raped your dog.

Posted: 12:58 p.m. EST April 10, 2006 by me ts