Humor, Jokes

Sportsman's Double
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night She looked OK for a 57-year-old In fact she wasn't too bad at all and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter We drank a bit and a had a bit of a snuggle and she asked if I'd ever had a S...

Biker vs Cop
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding Officer May I see your driver's license? Biker I don't have one I had it suspended when I got my 5th DU...

Six reasons not to m...
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a ...

I've a riddle for yo...
On his trip to Great Britain George Bush had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth He asked her "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?" "That's easy " ...

No Speakuh English
At a bus stop 2 Italian men get on They sit down and engage in an animated conversation The lady sit...

Sexual Education
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat As he settled in he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding He soon realized she was heading straig...

Jim & Edna
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end He sa...

Cinderella & Con...
Cinderella wants to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother won't let her As cinderella sits crying in the garden her fairy godmother appears and promises to p...

Victoria's Secret
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price the mor...

Biology
One day when the teacher walked to the black board she noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters She turned to the class scanned the boys a...

What is a penis?
Several first grade boys overheard some junior high boys talking about a penis The first graders asked each other "What's a penis?" None of them knew Finally ...

Wife vs Husband
Thanks to my Girl May for this e-mail I just want to share this with all the loving couples who can handle the following WIFE VS HUSBAND A couple drove down a ...

What if men had a va...
10 Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers 9 Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half 8 See if they could finally do the splits 7 See if ...

The Boy That Saw Abo...
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students the teacher asked "Boy what is your problem?" Boy answered "I'm too smart for the first gra...

Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs ” “...

The Ladies Bathroom
In a hospital a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom but it had always been occupied A nurse noticed his predicament " Sir " she...

Another blonde joke....
A blonde called her boyfriend and said "Please come over here and help me I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started " Her boy...

How was I born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy how was I born?" The father answers "Well son I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and ...

Wal-Mart has everyth...
One day in line at the company cafeteria Joe says to Mike behind him "My elbow hurts like hell I gu...

Some men bashing...
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box Her daughter is on the cover of Busines...

Fast Eddie
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute really hot girl in his office but she was dating someone else One day Eddie got so frustrated that he...

I think you're the f...
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her fr...

A Smart Blonde
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5 000 Th...

Farmers, Flies, and ...
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped in a speed trap "You were speeding " the cop said "I'm going to have to give you a ticket " '...

I had sex with my te...
A 1st grader came home one day from school and said to his dad "I had sex with my teacher today!" The dad then turned to his son puffed up his chest and said ...

Logic
Two farmers Jim and Bob are sitting at their favorite bar drinking beer Jim turns to Bob and says "You know I'm tired of going through life without an educatio...

ATM process by a Mal...
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving ...

For dirty minds...
You are not sure of the doctor because he says "Take off your clothes " the dentist because he says "Open wide " the hair dresser because he says "Do you w...

Beer vs. Vagina
1 Beer is always wet Vagina needs a little work One point to BEER 2 Warm beer tastes awful One point to VAGINA 3 A really cold beer is satisfying One point to B...

Barbie Dolls by an a...
Heights Barbie This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Wind star minivan She gets lost easily west of Reservoir Road an...

Arkansas Girl...
Arkansas Girls A girl from Arkansas and a girl from California were seated side by side on an airplane The girl from Arkansas being friendly and all said "So w...